Emma Howell

Say Them Out Loud


An original painting from the four year wild fire collection.

Acrylic, soft pastel and pencil on paper, 18″ x 24″, 2020.


Sometimes you feel hollow in your chest. You don’t belong to yourself, and words keep echoing in your head. “Do you hate me because I hate me”. It won’t be productive to say them out loud to the person who you love, but they won’t stop ringing in your ears. There is nothing but these words telling you that you don’t deserve to keep going. Circling, circling, it feels pointless but all-consuming at the same time. At some point though, you have to return to yourself. Put down the inexplicable sorrow and return to the life that you’ve been living, not for you, but for continuity at least.

Eventually,  I stood up again and washed my face, still avoiding my reflection. It seemed as if my life was waiting for me outside that room, like a polite guest I’d left behind at the table. It was rude to keep him waiting.”

“blue so vivid your chest aches / you can taste it / a warm calloused hand in yours / the only thing anchoring you to the present / reminding you that you can’t disappear into Vincent’s paintings / you have to stay here and put the pieces back together.”

I see how quarantine has not only been a time of immense grief, but also a time of true metamorphosis for people around the globe. We have been able to question our life choices, and determine if we want to make changes.”



Unframed – If you would like this artwork fitted into a bespoke wooden frame (natural bare oak, dark stained oak, plain white or plain black), please specify on the checkout page or send me an email after your purchase.

An additional £60 for the frame + an extra shipping cost will be invoiced to you separately.


SKU: EH2020-114 Category: